Date 1 of 3 for this week down....NEXT!!!

Last weeks date at Eataly was rescheduled for yesterday.  I arrived early to check it out as I have never been.  Quite frankly the place is daunting.  It is kind of amazing but daunting just the same.  The date was for 6:30 and i did not want to message her too early and seem too anxious.  When I am about to message her I check and there is a message that says she arrived early is at the bar already.  I head to the bar and there is a line and they are at capacity.  I suggest we head to another bar.

So here I am waiting for her to come down from the roof top bar.  Watching dark haired women not sure how close to her photo she will appear.  I see some and hope that it might be her, only to have them meet up with their date.  Another seems to be searching for someone as well, but I am like, that can't be her.  She looks nothing like her photo.  As luck would have it...well you know.  In retrospect she had changed her hair color but that was not it.  She looked about 10 years older than her photos.  

So we headed over to the Live Bait bar down the block.  I wouldn't say I had a bad time but I don't think she is the one for me.  Aside from that she also was a little racist.

Maybe I am looking for too much, but I do have 2 more dates setup for this week.

no shopping list for me...

Most people approach online dating with what I like the call a "shopping list".   They have a list of everything they are looking for in a potential partner in hopes that this will help them find the perfect person for them.  I have never subscribed to this method.  For the most part it is more of what I can't live with versus what I am looking for.

I was recently asked what I was looking for in a woman.  She liked my response so I thought I would share it here.

"That is a very good question. I am looking for a woman of substance. I think for the most part we are all looking for the same things. Obviously I want to be attracted, but I don't want her looks to define her. For the most part, other than those typical things I really am not looking for anything. I want to fall in love with a woman for who she is, not for what I hope her to be."

Let me "ax" you a question...

I absolutely hate it when people stop me mid sentence because I occasionally, or more often then not, pronounce ask as "ax".  I know the difference between the two words, and have never confused the two in writing.  What gets me is they point it out in this higher than might tone, like their shit doesn't stink.  I relish the chance to point their misuse of good when they should be saying well.  I never see anyone getting on southerners for dropping a 'g' from the end of the word, or when people go to visit their "ant" Janet.

What does this have to do with dating?  I have read and been told repeatedly how important spelling and grammar is in both your profile and emails.  Apparently it is especially important to women.  So it irks me to no end when I see it in their profile.  One woman's profile had some of the worst grammar I had ever seen, all while purporting to have gone to Harvard.  Maybe for lunch or to pick of a friend.

The one thing that has been sticking out lately:  I am looking for someone to compliment my life.
OK, here goes.
Your life is awesome! The way get up in the morning.  You have a great job and dance really well.  I find it fascinating the way you continue to breath in and out, and still manage to get things done.

Ladies and gentlemen.  The word is COMPLEMENT. As in something that completes, makes up a whole, or brings to perfection.  So you are looking for someone to complement your life.

Hopefully you I have just complemented yours and wont mind if I ax you a question....

eHarmony is the Pits

On Saturday I was talking about the new blog to a couple that had met on eHarmony in June.  He proclaimed that he is the blog and I hope that he will be a contributor in the future.  She shared one gem of a horror story regarding her time on eHarmony.com.

One of the features of eHarmony is there "guided communication".  There are 3 rounds of communication that allow you to get to know each other by answering stock questions about each other.  I am sure it is more than that but that is about the gist of it.   

There is the option to skip guided communication and jump right in.  Guided communication though may help to weed out the crazies and here is one example.  She told me that she had only skipped guided communication twice.  The very first time she received a request to do so she looked at the photos and was willing to give it a chance.  The very first email she received the guy responded with, "I liked your profile and would really like to get to know you.   But I need to know...  Would you be willing to grow out your arm pit hair, because that really turns me on."

Excuse the paraphrased quote, but come on.  Is this really the way you want to start a conversation.  I guess it is for the best, so she didnt end up getting involved with the guy and then finding out he was a freak.  Freak may be a bit too harsh.  He has a fetish and there is nothing wrong with that.  There are however other dating sites where this may have been deemed appropriate.  On most however it will just get you blocked.

How to spot a fake

As a general rule, if it looks too good to be true, it usually is.  We will reserve misleading or outdated photos for another day, but many profiles are using images that have been stolen from the web.  I use tineye.com and Google's new image search to help me spot fakes. 99% of the time if they come back with a result then the profile is a fake.  Tineye.com has plugins available for most browsers while Google's image search plugin is currently only compatible with Chrome and Firefox.  Just because there is no match on one or the other doesn't mean that the ad isn't a fake so refer back to the general rule.

There are rare cases where you will find a match and the profle will not be a fake, so be weary prior to reporting it for removal.

Here is a profile that I reported today:  http://www.plentyoffish.com/member30286864.htm

Hopefully it will be removed soon.  Not only were they using stolen photos but the search results revealed that the profile has photos of 3 different models.

Dating in the Shallows

The title of this blog refers to the dating pool, and more specifically to dating online.  There are a myriad of online dating sites to choose from both paid and free.  1 in 5 people have dated someone they have met online and 17% of couples who married met on a dating website. (dating facts & statistics)

Still with millions of profiles to choose from it is a daunting task to find that special someone.  All sites are littered with fake profiles and people who are just trying it out or not serious about meeting someone online.  Filtering through all of that and trying to find someone who is mutually interested in meeting you can start to be quite frustrating.

For this blog to be successful I need contributors.  Share your personal success and horror stories.  What has worked for you and what hasn't.  Share your basic frustrations.  Profiles that you thought would be perfect for you  yet did not share your interest.  Also share links to profiles that are obviously fakes or scams, or just border on the ridiculous.

Let me know if you would like to be a contributor.