Honesty - YOU FIRST

Its been a while since I posted.  Basically it is because I have not really had much activity.  I continue to send out messages, just getting few responses.  The few responses I do get fizzle out really quickly and do not lead to dates.

I had a little hope last week when i thought I might have the chance to meet two women.  One on Thursday evening for drinks and one on Friday for a lunch date.  Thursday's date was cancelled.  She said that after a 10 minute conversation that she did not feel we had any chemistry. The second date I did not even get the courtesy of communication.  I tried to call multiple times to set up the date.  Texts were not responded to.  Funny since she was the one who initiated communication.

I am guessing this is all for the better.  I want to meet the right woman, not just many woman, and obviously these 2 were not it.


Now for the Subject of the post.

A majority of females post claim that honesty is important to them in a relationship.  This is great.  Honesty is important to me as well.  the problem is many woman are obviously lying about their age on their profiles.  Also regarding body type, I thing many women are not honest with themselves when selecting.  Most put average when they are clearly a BBW or could use a few pounds.  I guess technically with the fattening of America they are average.  Still it is misleading and they know it.  Some select average so they will show up in more searches.  I have even seen obese women have the audacity to select Athletic as a body type.


If you can't be honest in your profile, how do you expect honesty out of a relationship.  When it comes to online dating, reading your profile is how the relationship begins, and if you lie here it is doomed from the start.

* I forgot to mention using old photos (especially when asking for new ones from others), cherry picking photos and taking photos from angles that hide your weight. *

I finally had a date on Monday.  It was the first time I showed up with absolutely no apprehension.  That could be due to the 4 hour conversation we had on Saturday.  I had a great time and am looking forward to wine and vodka tasting this weekend.

Profile Rules

quote from "Free Agents" on NBC - Season1 episode 4: Rebranding

"First Rule - Discard all photos that don't show the body; Neck up means they're fat; Body looks OK, but the photos old, they're fat; Weird Pose...Fat.."

Link to episode

Trollops!!!

Nothing new to report of  late, so I thought I would share.  Seems accurate if you ask me.  Thanks for sharing Mitch.

Need better bait...and another call for contributors

So apparently after the 3 dates that were recheduled (1 cancelled) I have hit a dry spell.  I am guessing I need better "bait" or to find a way to "chum the waters". 

I am still hoping to for people to help contribute to the blog.  You can request to be added as an author or you can email me if you want your stories posted anonymously.  Hopefully oneday I will get an actual subscriber to the blog.

I did check and so far I have had enough views for exactly 1 penny worth of revenue...LOL

Back in the water...

So last week I had 3 dates scheduled.  As previously stated the first date was a bust.

My second date was on Thursday.  We were scheduled to meet at 7pm but she requested to push it to 8.  I agreed.  It is almost 8:30 before she shows.  When I see her, I think about excusing myself to the rest room so I can update my status to NEXT, once again.  But I give her a shot.  At least she didnt look older than her photos.  A little heavier yes but not older.  I spent the time to get to know her and even ended the date with a kiss.

My third date on Friday in Staten Island was cancelled because I did not contact her between Monday and Friday.  Lesson learned.  But then again, I really did not want to drive to SI anyway.

On Saturday I met up with date #2 for drinks at Croxley's in Farmingdale.  This time she was 45 minutes late.  And since I was 10-15 minutes early, that meant me spending about an hour in the parking lot.   Speaking with her she let me know that she is a perpetually late person, and it would be something I would have to deal with.  We ended the night with another kiss but it left me thinking.

In regards to my previous post, yes I would have slept with her if given the opportunity.   As I said I have no problem with the general definition of casual sex.  The problem is both parties have to be on the same page.  She let me know that she wanted to get to know me better before taking that step. I was already on the fence, and I am not really sure I want to get to know her beyond a physical thing.  Since we are not on the same page, and I don't play games, I have my hook back in the water.

I dont believe in casual sex....

* This is an extension of a facebook update that prompted quite a few comments so I thought I would move it to the blog *

I don't believe in casual sex. Nothing about sex should ever be casual. 
Casual sex is having sex outside of a traditional or romantic relationship.  While the choice of sexual partners and timing may be deemed casual, the actual sex should be anthing but. 

If anything sex with a regular partner and especially between a married couple would should be deemed more casual than casual sex.  Many times this is exactly what leads to the end of relationships.  Sex may then become routine and typically more and more infrequent. 

In the comments prostitues were referrenced more than once, claiming that they would be considered casual sex.   How can anything that is illegal and considered taboo my most people considered casual.  If anything it is the furthest thing from casual sex.  You have to worry about getting arested.  Will it be worth the money.  Why do I feel empty after.  She has to worry about her saftey and whether you are going to try to rip her off.  And both of you have to worry about STDs and your physical saftey.  Now if you think that is casual there is something wrong with your thought process.

I am not saying you should limit yourself to traditional relationships.  We all have our different morals and how precious we hold sex may be different to each of us.  I do think if you are choosing to have sex with multiple partners I think you should be honest with them (and no lies of omission here), or at the very least please be safe.

But the actual sex.  Please dont let it be casual.  You should be looking for nothing less than fireworks.  Otherwise why bother.